Wednesday, February19, 2003 - 9:01 a.m.
So, we had our 4th (and with any luck, our final) IUI yesterday. As usual it went very smoothly, so now we just wait wait wait. :) I am glad the injectibles are over for now though (hopefully for good!). It's hard to articulate exactly how emotionally draining it is...but it really is. Every aspect of it is just such an emotional thing...it's almost a relief to be in this waiting period, even though this part is so emotional too. So say a baby prayer for us, hehe. :)
And on a related subject, I think I've decided that I am going to go to that baby shower I wrote about a little while ago. I've been doing a lot of thinking about it and I think I would feel better just going. To not go, it seems to me, would just be making it a bigger issue than it really is. I truly am happy for Leonard and Sue, and having a baby is a blessing. Of course I should be there to celebrate it...they are our friends. And it means a lot to Jim that I go too. He told me that he understands if I feel I'm not up for it, but I know that he wants me to be there for it. And truly...it's a part of life. Yah, there are some days that I get depressed, and I think I just can't handle seeing another pregnant woman, or hearing that someone else is expecting. Yah, there are days when I want to hate those people. But I can't, and I don't want to become that person who can't face that part of life. I have a choice, to either live life to it's fullest, rejoicing in what I DO have and with the people in my life I have. Or, I can let this thing make me miserable, and miss out on a whole heck of a lot of wonderful things. And I choose to keep moving on! To still be the same fun-loving, thoughtful, caring person I was before all this became a part of my life. So there it lies...and I do feel better for finally have made a decision with it, and I feel I have made the right one as well. Now, just gotta go shopping! :)
And there was one other thing I wanted to write about here too, but I just can't remember what it was now!! I know there was three things...the IUI, the shower...and what else!!??? Hmm... oh well, I'm sure it will come to me later, lol. Hey, hopefully I'm getting that "Mommy-brain" thing going on already, giggle. Okay, I know that's wishful thinking at this point...but I can hope, right? hehe Keeping my fingers crossed!!
